PETS WHO WANT TO KILL THEMSELVES

“Take your sweet time with that photo. It’s not like I have a family of sand crabs making a summer home out of my anus or anything.”

Snax from me in Los Angeles, CA

“We need to talk, Tori. I think we both know what’s on my mind.”

Maggie from Tori in Springfield, MA

Hipster dogs don’t “do” affection. 

Lilly & Tug from Christina in Jacksonville, FL

“I feel a big-ass ice cream headache coming on.”

Shiloh from Kristine in sunny Hawaii

“Hell yeah, I love America. In my old country, my nickname was dinner.”

Penhois (formerly of Cambodia) in Athens, GA from Tess

“Is it rabbit season? Cause I wouldn’t mind being shot at right now.”

Bunny Marie from Alicia Clara from Newark, NJ

“Extinction can’t come soon enough.”

Rocco from India in New Orleans, LA

“Kill Bill? …More like Castrate Lou.”

Scratch from Lou in Newport Beach, CA

“This is your worst fashion choice since you got that tattoo.” 

Kitty from Megan in Tulsa, OK

“The fur collar’s a little fucking redundant, don’tcha think?”

Cookie from Julie in Springfield, MA