PETS WHO WANT TO KILL THEMSELVES

“Thanks for the shoes. I think I just tore my groin.”

“Stop being a crybaby. It was just a little bite to help me get into character.”

“What?! I let you dress me up like an idiot and I didn’t even win the Halloween contest on that shitty website?”

Thanks for all the great submissions.

Unfortunately, spoils can only go to one winner and past contributer Suzi from Manhattan came through with this money shot snapped at the Howl’oween Parade in Long Beach.

Call me crazy but there’s something about this whorishly-dressed, incongruously upright little pooch pushing a child’s cart stuffed with novelty spiders and stuffed animal heads to the delight of a photo-snapping crowd that just screams… America.

I’m ooowing at the cuteness while simultaneously wiping away a tear.

Bravo!

Okay Petheads, I’m only one man which means there’s only so many cutelarious Halloween pet photos I can snap tomorrow. So let’s have us a little CONTEST!

The best Halloween pet photo submitted to the site ON actual Halloween (12am PST to 11:59pm) gets a veritable cornucopia of sexy PWWTKT gear.

One PWWTKT t-shirt (of your sizing and color choice)

One PWWTKT book (upon release Dec. 1)

A shitload of bumperstickers

Make it work Petheads. Happy Hoooowl-o-ween!

“Just pull your pants up and leave the milkbones on the night stand.”

“I really should have Googled her before I agreed to be adopted.”

Julia Allison • Nonsociety

“I can’t wait to go Siegfried and Roy on your ass.”